The IBO Song

With apologies to Gilbert, Sullivan, and HunterX11 who started it.

We are the very model of a modern Halo IRC,
We've information Forerunner, Covenant and UNSC,
We know the prophet hierarchs and quote the drama ILB,
Play Marathon and Halo, too, sometimes even on XBC.
We're very well acquainted, too, with ICQ and IMDB,
About rampant speculation extremely skeptical are we,
With many useless facts about the status of the great journey.

We're very good at stealing kills and many nubs are owned by us;
We've memorized the Halo Bible and the Spartan home care omnibus.
In short, in matters Forerunner, Covenant or UNSC,
We are the very model of a modern Halo IRC.

We know our Bungie history, Ling-Ling, Jones and Seropian
Make enough mom jokes at you to make you lose all hope in life-- again
We quote in dirty limericks the misdeeds of Myrkridia inside the Tain
And in comics of Stuntmutt we share your excruciating pain.

We can tell Washburn from Mullins by the weight of a single brushstroke
and repeat each and every line that any Zartman-voiced grunt ever spoke
We hum the Halo theme on cue, just so Marty will be proud of us
And whistle oly-oly-oxen-free so other Spartans won't be scared of us.

We can write our forum posts in coded Covenant cuneiform,
And tell you every detail of Tartarus' uniform
In short, in matters Forerunner, Covenant or UNSC,
We are the very model of a modern Halo IRC.

In fact, when we know what is meant by "flag returned" and "flag taken"
When we can tell by sight a Hunter from Hawaiian Bacon
When such vehicles as Warthogs and Shadows we're more handy with
And when we know precisely how to make custom formations in Myth
When we have learned rightly how to focus plasma weaponry,
When we know more of tactics than just SMGs and bunny-hoppery,
In short, when we've a smattering of weapon-spawning timery,
You'll say that we should all be atop the leaderboards of MLG.

For despite impressive reflexes and excellent gaming abilities,
We're hampered by router problems and extreme bouts of latency.
But still, in matters Forerunner, Covenant or UNSC,
We are the very model of a modern Halo IRC.

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