The History of Bungie

DATELINE-- July 7, 2032, Bungieopolis

In the Era of Bungie Subsidized Time, the Year of the Zeus Class Fusion Pistol (revised), this being the seventh year of Bungie World Domination, many have forgotten the humble origins of the organization that now holds sway over much of our daily lives and holds our future securely in its grasp. But few suspect the truth, that such humble beginnings are little more than scurrilous rumor. Now, at last, the tru7h can be safely revealed. Please avert your eyes, retina damage may result from looking directly at the tru7h. Eyes averted? Okay. Are you sure? All right, well, on with it.

Sherman, set the Wayback Machine for 1991.

Back in the mists of prehistory, before everyone knew Your Mom, Alexander Seropian had a master plan to achieve World Dominationâ„¢. Knowing that one day he would require detailed knowledge of tank warfare to achieve this, he cunningly created a simulator to allow him to practice these skills, called it "Operation Desert Storm", and released it as a "computer game". Unbeknownst to the world, but knownst to him, it was infected with an ingenious subliminal message generator that would make those who played the game into his helpless minions. Such an insidious program could safely be tested this way because "Operation Desert Storm", like many of Bungie's early mind control experiments, ran only on computers that were made by a company called Apple, which ran the Macintosh Operating System (MacOS) and were used only by a small and strange caste of elite technology priests.

Knowing he would need an advanced degree to ward off critics, but unable to spend the time to attend classes, he created an artificial intelligence program to complete his school work for him. Upon graduation, he set it working to create a new game. He named the game "Minotaur, Labyrinths of Crete" and named the A.I. who helped him design it "Jason Jones". Minotaur was especially good at spreading Bungie's subliminal messages because it took advantage of the MacOS' primitive networking ability, which required players to participate in games by connecting their computers with cables, thus allowing the virus to spread.

Knowing that these so-called "computer games" would need to improve in attractiveness as well as their addictive qualities, Bungie's next offering, "Pathways Into Darkness", featured higher resolution graphics as well as stereophonic sound effects. Press outlets covering the MacOS market were so thoroughly fooled by the program's gamelike appearance that they gave it several awards.

In late 1993, a rival group of programmers calling themselves Id Software released another addictive computer simulation under the title "Doom" in their own bid for world domination. While their attempt is now a mere footnote in the history of the Bungieverse, at the time they were perceived as a real threat. "Doom" contained a few minor technical advances to the basic techniques used in "Pathways Into Darkness", but more importantly it ran on the then-dominant "Wintel" computing platform, consisting of machines using processors from Intel and variations of the DOS/Windows operating systems from what was then called Microsoft. While in many ways a crude imitation of Bungie's own work, this allowed "Doom" to spread far and wide, demanding a response from Bungie.

Bungie retaliated in 1994 by beginning the three-part "Marathon" series, which consisted of "Marathon", "Marathon 2:Durandal" and "Marathon Infinity". The series concluded with the release of Infinity in 1996. This tested Bungie's ability to capture and retain new followers, who were irresistably drawn to purchase each new installment of the series, even to the point of purchasing it again when re-released as the Marathon Trilogy Box Set in 1997 and again as part of the Mac Action Sack in 1999.

With "Marathon 2:Durandal" Bungie began the first experiments in subverting the Wintel platform world, experiments which came to fruition with the release of "Myth: The Fallen Lords" for both Windows 95 and MacOS computers in 1997. Myth contained the latest improvements to Bungie's now-famous Mind Control Ray technology, cleverly concealed inside a computer program that bore a striking resemblance to a genre of games very different from the Marathon series; games that then were called "Real Time Strategy" or "RTS" games. Myth cleverly abolished one of the major drawbacks to RTS gaming leading to addictive behavior by removing the tedious phases of resource collection and unit construction and allowing players to begin simulated combat almost immediately. In addition, players were given programs that allowed them to customize their experience of playing the game, giving them the illusion of control at the same time their minds were being cleverly subverted.

Seeing no reason to fix something that was not broken, Bungie followed suit with a series of Myth games, with "Myth 2: Soulblighter" providing technical and aesthetic improvements on the original and at the same time testing new exploits in the Windows operating system with a clever installer program. Again the game was re-packaged, appearing as The Total Codex, which included both original games plus many of the scenarios created by players. This in turn was also included in the Mac Action Sack.

Emboldened by the success of the Myth series, Bungie released information on their next title, "Halo", at a Macintosh revival in New York in 1999. However, the following year they took their most important step towards world domination, by beginning their double secret reverse internal takeover of the software giant Microsoft. Microsoft's new gaming platform, to be called the "Xbox", would need addictive, game-like programming to serve that company's own agenda for world domination, and the obvious choice to produce such code was Bungie. "Halo" returned Bungie to the so-called "First Person Shooter" genre, to which both "Marathon" and "Pathways Into Darkness" belonged. Between its release, on November 15, 2001, concurrent with the introduction to the market of Microsoft's Wintel-based "Xbox" subversion system, and mid-2003, "Halo" had sold over three million copies. Featuring cinema-quality music and sound, an immersive, interactive story, and world-class visuals, "Halo" was a tour de force in the gaming industry, bringing ever more minions into the sway of Bungie's influence, a trend that continued through the takeover of Microsoft's headquarters and the eventual abolition of all world governments.

And that's the tru7h. :P