Never Going Back To My Old (Middle) School

The Bungie Pentathlon this year-- the important part, that is-- was owned by Middle School. The Old School managed to pick up enough points to win on the more geriatric-friendly portions of the competition, such as Pictionary and Mario Tennis, but the Middle School, led by Brian "SketchFactor" Jarrard and including our own spiritual leader Tyson "Ferrex" Green won the only place it matters: the Halo 2 competition. (We're also convinced that it was advancing decrepitude and a general lack of libido that led the Old School to victory in competitions like DOA: Ultimate, where they were clearly undistracted by the action on the screen, unlike their younger, more virile colleagues--Ed.)